Memento Mori
by Hitam
Summary: Roxas has found himself at a mental health hospital, with no recollection of how he got there. He starts seeing things that aren’t real, and one is of a boy. Can you really feel for someone who isn’t real? Why can't Roxas remember? Yaoi, Sora x Roxas x Ax


**Memento Mori**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own KH at all. Don't sue me plx.

**Summery: Roxas has found himself at a mental health hospital, with no recollection of how he got there. He starts seeing things that aren't real, and one is of a boy. Can you really fall for someone who isn't real? SXRoXAxXDe**

**Notes**: A lot of angst, yaio, and weird plot twists. This is an AU, so there is some OCness.

**Please review, my first KH story ever. _Written in Roxas' POV_.**

_That sound, what is that sound? Wait, whose voice is that? I swear I've heard it before…_

"Roxas, wake up. You can't sleep all day you know."

I slowly opened my eyes, everything was blurry but I could make out colors. There was a lot of white and grey. After my eyes blinked a few times my sight began to clear. Then I felt a sudden pain and heaviness coming from my body. I bit my lip and moaned in pain. I looked at my body and saw I was sleeping in a white bed with restraints on my arm. What the hell, restraints? I pulled my arms trying to break free from them, but it just ended up hurting my arms more. I was tightly tucked into white sheets and I looked around the room and saw hospital equipment. There was a BP blood pressure machine along with IV stand, and various machines I don't know the name of. I sighed and looked at the white door. The whole room was so damn white it began to hurt my eyes. Soon a door flung upon and a woman came through it. I assumed she was a nurse. She held what seemed like my file and was writing notes, and checking the various machines. Then she closed the folder and looked at me.

"How are you feeling Roxas?" She asked. Her voice was very smooth and sweet. It reminded me of my mothers. She had long brown hair that was tied up in a red-ish pink ribbon…-

"Roxas?" As she interrupted my train of thought.

"I feel sore, where am I? What am I doing here? Is this-" I was cut off by her sigh.

"The doctor will be here shortly, he should be able to answer all your questions" Her face showed deep concern and pity. I glared at her, a bit upset she didn't answer my questions, along with looking at me like a dying puppy.

"Fine, at least tell me your name" I said, hoping to get at least that from her.

"I'm Nurse Gainsborough" Once she finished her sentence, she quickly whisked herself out of the room.

_----------It's a long way down from Heaven's gate----------_

"Roxas-"

"Yes? Are you the doctor? You better answer my questions-" I cut the blonde doctor off, and he then cut me off.

"You better be hoping I am the doctor" He said coldly. I huffed at him and he began walking over towards me.

"Your surgery went well, and in a few weeks everything should be completely healed. Except for your mind of course, that will take awhile."

What the hell was he talking about? What surgery? What the hell is wrong with my mind?

"Look doctor, where am I? Why am I here? How did I get here?" I yelled at him moving my arms and trying to kick my legs. I wanted to get the hell out of here right now.

"Cool it. You don't want to rip your stitches out, then I'll have to put them back in and I won't use anesthetic."

What is with this staff? I can't get a single answer from them! I fell fine, I feel great!

Then I started to feel a pain right around my ribcage. I looked down, the once white sheets started to turn red.

"Oh shit" I slurred.

_----------I hide in one of these, number thirteen----------_

"Roxas, can you hear me?" It was that voice again, that voice from before.

"Yes, who are you?"

"Did you forget my name, Roxas?" How could I forget a name I never knew? Why can't I get answers from anyone today?

"No, because I never heard your name or voice"

"Oh well. My name is Sora, does that ring a bell at all, Roxas?" I paused, and tried to think if I remembered that name, I didn't, and part of me felt bad because of this.

"No. Now Sora, what is going on with me?" I asked, hoping I would finally get an answer.

"You got hurt, but you will be fine" So much for an answer.

"How did I get hurt?"

"I, I don't know if I can tell you that. You're the only one that can-"

"Just tell me, I have the right to know!"

The voice named Sora became silent, and then suddenly the darkness I once saw became light.

"If you saw me, do you think you would remember me?" Sora asked

I saw a boy. He had light brown spiky hair, deep blue eyes, tan skin, a firm body. Wait, I'm getting way too descriptive for my own good. I looked at him closely, I felt like I've seen this 'Sora' before, like we had a connection. Then in an instant I felt nothing, and he was a stranger to me once again. He walked towards me and places his hand on my shoulder. He was about the same height as me, so his hand easily settled on my shoulder. His eyes met with mine and he began to smile.

"Do you recognize me now, Roxas?"

"No, I still don't recognize you at all" I lied to him a bit. I did remember something, but I could not remember a single thing about him.

He frowned and took his hand off my shoulder. He walked away and began looking down at his feet.

"Oh…" He said

"Sora, tell me who you-" before I finished my sentence he had faded away. The once light area became dark again.

"Awaken"

My body shot up. What the hell just happened? Is my mind playing tricks on me? What is going on here? I looked around the room and the nurse from before was watching over me.

"I'm glad you are awake, Roxas" She smiled and stood up. "You gave us quite a scare for a second." She then walked up to my bedside.

For a second I paused, just to remember everything that just happened to me. Who was this Sora boy? Was I dreaming? Did I die for a second and saw a glimpse of limbo? So many questions, yet no one will answer them. Could Sora just be a figment of my imagination? It feels like he is so real to me, and I've barely just met him. When I saw him I could smell him, feel his touch, and feel emotion from him. It's the most real thing I've felt for so long. It's sad, I feel more in a dream than I do in reality.

"Where am I?" I asked asking softer than before.

"You're at Radiant Garden Mental Rehabilitation Clinic" Wait, what? Did I hear that right? Is that just some fancy name for a nut house, a psycho-ward?

"Are you saying I'm in a mental hospital?" My voice turned bitter and I began to bite my lip. What the hell did I do to end up here? I don't even remember what happened yesterday. I don't even know the date, and I don't even know the fucking time.

"Y-yes, if you put it that way Roxas" She sounded worried and a bit taken back.

"Leave me alone" I said forcefully. She nodded and walked out of the door.

Of all the things I've done, I don't think I deserved this.

_----------String me a line that has meaning and depth ----------_

I finally got released from my hospital room, just to be put in another. I eventually found out the date was the 7th, but for all I could of known I was out for 3 months. A man named Leon escorted me into a new part of the hospital. He slid his key card and then forced me to sit down at a table with a chair by it.

"Do you have any sharp objects on you?" He asked

I thought for a second and nodded a no.

"Do you have anything in your bra?" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY?

"I'm not some damn girl you bastard!" I stood up and yelled at him. I was about to punch him and he was there, laughing! I hated this guy already.

"God, you kids never get a joke" He kept laughing and took more notes on his clipboard.

"By the way, if you even tried to punch you, I'd pull this baby out" He pulled out a syringe which had a clear green liquid. The needle was massive and I gulped at the size of it.

"The residents here call this booty juice. One ass shot and you'll be out for a week."

I made a mental note of that. I never was scared of needles that much, but that was about to change.

"Anyways, do you have any shoe laces on you?" He regained his somber face and glared at me.

"Yes, my shoes have them but- " I was cut off by his hand reaching outwards towards me.

"Give them to me, now." I totally did not get this guy. What the hell was wrong with shoe laces? It's not like one could make an escape rope out of here by using them.

"Hell no, I need them to walk" I barked at him.

He rolled his eyes and pulled off my shoes before I knew it.

"You're so damn naïve, aren't you? Maybe someone here will tell you why we don't allow shoelaces." I growled at him, and then he slid my shoe back on and duck tapped them around my feet.

"Good as new kid, and oh yah, don't curse. It's not good" I rolled my eyes when he said this, what a damn hypocrite.

"Let's go, Boxas we have to get you settled into your new room." He said pulling my arm.

"It's Roxas…" I mumbled grumpily

"What was that Boxas?"

"It's Roxas you son of -" Leon then flashed the massive syringe and smiled. I gulped and changed my sentence.

"You, you, you son of God" I said sighing

"That's better Toxas"

I snarled and crossed my arms over my chest; I officially gave up on this asshole.

_----------He spoke of pastures green, I was never told why----------_

I finally put away the clothes Leon gave me and began examining the walls of the room. One would think such a room would be small, but it was massive. It was at least seven yards wide. I sat down on my bed and I noticed the other bed beside mine. It was messy and looked like part of the bed was burnt. I really hoped my roommate wasn't some crazy pyro-kid who burned his house down. I hated fire, I was scared of fire, I could not tame fire, and that's why I always avoided fire.

I got up from my bed and began looking closer at the wall. I saw many indentations and when I looked closer I saw words.

"Deo duce, dabit deus his quoque finem, memento mori, Deo gratias" What the hell did that mean? Was that Latin? Why would some nut job write Latin on his wall? Something deep inside felt very uncomfortable suddenly. My stomach began to turn and suddenly I got a surge of anger. I screamed and before I knew it my hand punched the wall. I blinked still in utter shock I punched the wall. My knuckles began to hurt and I cuffed it with my other hand.

"What's happening to me…?" I thought

"Roxas, are you alright?" It was that voice again. I looked around the room but I didn't see anyone.

"Sora?" I thought

"Yes, it is me Roxas. Why did you go and punch that wall?"

"I, I don't know. Something about it made me so angry and sick"

"I see. Roxas if you ever need to talk I'll always be here for you"

"You're not real"

"That's a mean thing to say Roxas, of course I am real"

"Prove it"

I blinked my eyes and then I saw Sora standing in front of me again. I must have been tired, this must be another dream, please let it be a dream.

"Well there, is that enough proof?" He asked

"You're just a thing my mind has imagined. I bet if I-" I tried to swat his body away, thinking it would just go right through, but it didn't. I was stopped by his hand.

I was speechless and stood with a dumbfounded look on my face.

"Roxas, you're still the same. You never trust anything people tell you. I will never lie to you Roxas." He then began walking closer to me almost coming to an embrace. I began to feel his warmth, smell his hair, and feel his touch. Maybe he was real, I didn't care anymore. He then held my arms down and brought his lips towards mine. I tried to move but my body wouldn't let me move. One would think I would scream for help, some weird guy I just met today was trying to suck my face off, but I didn't feel that way. I felt comfortable and completely at ease. I let his lips touch mine, and before I knew it we were in a full on passionate kiss. I bit his lip gently and he slid his tongue into my mouth. His right hand began to grab the back of my head and his other hand cupped my chin. My left arm started wrapping around his waist, while my right arm clawed at his back. I lost full control of my body and my mind, great.

Sora then broke off the kiss and smiled, he then began to fade away.

"Hey!" I yelled trying to hold onto him.

"You're mind might of forgotten me, but your body sure hasn't." With that final sentence he had disappeared into God knows where. Now I had more questions to ask, whoopdy doo.

I touched my lips and heard the door slowly creak open. I turned around suddenly, startled a bit. A boy with big red hair and a skinny body came through.

When he saw me he looked like a deer caught in a car's headlights.

"Uhh…The name is Axel, got it memorized?"

_----------I open my eyes, and look at the floor, and now I don't see you anymore----------_

**Notes II**: I never really cared for the whole Sora x Roxas pairing, so this is new to me. I always enjoyed Roxas x Axel. I'm sorry if this chapter seemed a lot like the beginning of the game. In a few chapters you will realize why it was needed. Sora may be totally OC right now, but I didn't want to make him a complete ditz. I hope I did Roxas correctly.

As for pairings here is the big love err- polygon. **Sora x Roxas x Axel x Demyx **. How fun this will be! Please review, thanks for reading! Review for more.


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